Eating disorder...?

My eating disorder has ruined my life. I became anorexic at 13, now at fifteen, I feel Iike there's no point in continuing my life as it's already spoiled for good. I will have severely stunted my growth and brain developement, which means I will never be as clever/creative as I could have been, and I don't know why, but after my recovery my skin seemed to go into this wierd accelorrated aging thing and I'm now wrinkled, saggy, and covered in pigmentation. What is the point in continuing , really?

Eating disorder...?
Hi Claudia,


OK, what I'm going to say sounds unbelievable, even to me at times, but bear with me. I've been dealing with ED's on and off for over 14 years. My highest weight was about 50 pounds heavier than when I was full-on anorexic. What I want to say is hang in there. My eating issues began when I was 11, and yes, it messed up my metabolism for several years. I've always looked older than my age because of it. BUT, the body, when treated properly, can restore itself in most cases. Even my friend, who was dying for over 5 years, went on to have 4 children, be a normal weight and looks great even now in her early 50's. She was diagnosed as infertile, and a hopeless case. They said because of her major loss of bone mass she would never be able to participate in athletic activities without serious injury. And she is a walking, living testimony of the healing that can take place within a body.





OK, so I currently am not as healthy as I need to be. Sometimes I feel this exact way: "my metabolism is messed up for good, so why bother to change", "I've wasted so much of my life", and "I've caused permanent damage to my body" are all things that I say and believe quite often, even though I know it's in my power to undo so many of the damaging things I've done. I've had periods of recovery(normally 1-2 years) where for the first 6-9 months I balloon and get really big. Then slowly, my metabolism goes back to normal and I lose the majority of it. Before the relapse I'm currently in, I was eating 4000-5000 calories a day and STILL weighed 10-15 pounds below my highest weight! I know my body can get to that point again, but it's hard to believe. The body may not heal itself overnight, sometimes it takes years.





Another thing I was always worried about was my skin and wrinkles too. I think I have more wrinkles than the average 25-year-old, but I have seen girls who are younger than me, who are totally healthy, with worse skin than me! And I snagged myself a pretty good-lookin' husband, inspite of my flaws!





Mentally, I function a million times better and am very productive when I am eating normally. Don't believe the lies that your brain development ceased when you became anorexic! You can learn so many things, it doesn't end with an ED!





All of these "woes" are minimal compared to your mental health. I think it may benefit you to believe positively about yourself. Listen and take in other peoples' recovery accounts. Believe these things for yourself! Don't listen to the hopelessness that may be spoken over you by friends, professionals, parents, etc. Know that you CAN have a GREAT life, complete with a healthy mind, body and spirit. I know these things are possible for me also, but I have an advantage over you, I have experienced my body being healed, so I know this is true. Besides, what really exudes life, confidence, beauty, ability and intelligence, is not your physical body, but the spirit in which you project those qualities!





I'm not negating the seriousness of an ED. I'm just trying to restore some hope and bring light to a disorder that is normally deemed hopeless.





The biggest recovery tool for me has been my relationship with Christ. I know I was created for a purpose, and that destiny has not yet been fulfilled in my life. The same goes for you. You are far more valuable that brain cells, saggy skin and hopelessness. You were created for so much more life! We were both created to be living testimonies of changed lives and bodies!





God bless you, precious, valued and beautiful Claudia!
Reply:It sounds to me that for several yrs your eating disorder was your best friend because now that its come and gone you feel you have nothing left to live for, there is plenty to live for. God loves you and will help you get out of this mess, there can always be life again after an ED, just continue to stay strong, God loves you and


it will all be ok...
Reply:theres always a point in continuing...u just have to look hard to find it...maybe its helping others thru what uve bin thru
Reply:just do it